We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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