My sheets look like a crime scene.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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