We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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