I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My feet surprised me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize