Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
