So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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