This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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