I want to make a zoo with you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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