hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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