so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
