You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
