how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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