If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
