So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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