why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
