he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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