i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
