i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
