Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize