i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
