Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
