Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
