Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
