We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
