He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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