I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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