Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
