we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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