Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
