The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize