i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
