Kiss
Puke
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
PANTIES FOUND
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