So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
