u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
