i don't plan on having that self control this summer
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
