theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
