WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
