So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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