we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
wow bdsm is so cute
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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