I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
