I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
