If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
