I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
