so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
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I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
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Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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