the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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