He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize