I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
