we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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