Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
