I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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