Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
