Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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