I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
