What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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