well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
