Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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