Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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